Currently Listening Multiply By Jamie Lidell What's the Use see related

It's been over a year since I last posted.  So many things have happened since then.  I started and finished the first year of medical school.  I did better than I expected and am very happy with my grades.  I made new friends and have formed a tight-knit group with a few classmates.  I haven't forgotten my friends from college, though, as evidenced by our reunion in April.  None of my college friends have changed much.  Both Jessicas are still crazy (well, crazier than us Asians).  Joyce is still her unique self (read: grumpy at times, but lovable).  Vicky is still up to her forgetful antics.  I'm glad to see that professional school/and or life hasn't jaded us or made us artificial.  The past year has also made me realize how fortunate I am and reminded me of my principles.  I once asked Vicky what made her choose me as a roommate and she replied that she liked the way I am willing to help people without expecting anything in return.  She said that when we were freshmen taking calculus 2, she asked for my help and I didn't hesitate to help her.  I was recently put to the test again in a similar situation and was reminded by the person I helped that I didn't have to go the extra mile. 

Four months ago, a fiancee of a friend asked me to help him look for a roommate.  He wanted someone who was quiet, studious, and wouldn't be disruptive by having loud parties or gatherings in their apartment so as not to interrupt his studies.  I told him I'd be on the look out for a someone with those characteristics and considered a few guys in my class whom I thought fit the bill.  Unfortunately, the more I talked to them, the more I realized they were unsuitable because they would have loud parties.  So without any leads, I didn't contact him for a while because I felt like a failure.  When I spoke to his fiancee (my friend) in April, she told me he had found a roommate.  I was relieved because things had worked out for him.

Then yesterday, I received an email addressed to my medical class from him, seeking a roommate.  I emailed him back, inquiring why he's looking when I thought he had a roommate.  He told me that the guy had backed out.  I felt bad for him because I knew living alone was expensive, so I suggested he email incoming first year medical students to see if anyone needed a roommate.  I also gave him the name of a coordinator in the office of student affairs whom he can contact for further help.  I went ahead and forwarded his email to the coordinator, asking her to send the message to the first years.  After coming home from research, I checked my email and saw that he had sent me a thank-you e-card.  Apparently, someone from the incoming medical class had contacted him that day and they spoke.  I was glad to hear that and found out this morning that they had signed a lease together, within 24 HOURS of speaking!  

I'm glad that things worked out and that in the end, I was able to keep my word.  But I am also reminded that actions speak louder than words.  Although I may not do conventional public acts of service or have time to volunteer, I am always willing to help someone in need when it is within my capabilities.  At the end of the day, at the end of our lives, all we have to account for are our actions.  I prefer to help others without anyone knowing than be one of those people who are constantly serving others in the limelight.  That is not to say that their work is any less worthy of recognition, but for me, I am happy to help without expecting showers of attention. 

So why do I go the extra mile when I don't have to?  I don't know.  Maybe it's because I can't stand seeing a job unfinished.  Maybe because I feel the need to push my limits and that includes seeing how much clout I have and how much influence I can extend to connect others to what they need.  But I know that as long as I have a network and know people who can network with others, I will always be willing to mass communicate to help others. 

P.S.  John Mayer's coming out with a new CD in September!  I already like the first single! 

Currently Playing Youth By Collective Soul Better Now see related

Haha, this toast to our 2005 Class by Dr. Grissom is just too funny!  I took this from Vicky's site when I read her page.  The speech was funnier at the Last Great Reception with her facial expressions.

A Toast to the Class of 2005
By Dr. Coleen Grissom

Professor of English
Last Great Reception, April 29, 2005

"I realize that my opening of these remarks is going to be
disconcerting to some of you and that it might make the rest queasy.
But, here's the truth: I was just a few years older than members of
the class of 2005 when I first came to work at trinity. I realize that
most of you simply cannot imagine that someone so aged was ever young.
Well, try this: someone so aged can't believe that she got so old. 38
seems about right to me.

But, that can't be right – I first came to work here 47 years ago in
June, so, it seems unlikely that I am 38 years old. I'm not
mathematically gifted, but I'm not stupid. I don't think I could
possibly be only 38.

But, I have stayed here these many decades because I have loved much
about Trinity University.

Here's some of what has caused me to devote my life to this place and
some of what I think makes it hard for you to leave:

I have loved and do love the commitment to a liberal arts & sciences
education because I sincerely believe that the truly educated, the
truly liberated, person is one who has had that focus.

I have loved and do love that by mandate of several generations of
trustees, trinity's enrollment is limited.

There are too many of us for any body to know everybody, but classes
are small, people – even the powers that be - are accessible, and, if
you try, you can know many bright, interesting people of various
backgrounds, interests, and even ages. And, if you work at it, not
always but occasionally, you can see in this place, a sense of
community. A pretty gossipy community, but a community. I sincerely
hope you've gotten to know many people here, and I can only pray that
they weren't all white classmates from Houston.

I hope you've gotten to know some members of the faculty, but, also,
some of the men who care for these beautiful grounds and those who
keep the facilities functioning and repaired. I hope you've gotten to
know and to value some of the men and women who run the offices
through their roles as secretaries and administrative assistants – the
residential and student activities staffs – some of the folks in food
service, the mail room, the bookstore, and campus safety. I even hope
you've gotten to know – in positive ways – some of the senior
administration. I hope you've expanded your horizons by wide and
varied associations in this remarkable community.

3. Third of what I love and also bet you love is the beauty – not of
the lilies – but of this campus. That aesthetics matter gives me much
joy. When all over this planet, people are cutting down trees to put
up parking lots, trinity is focusing on the humongous oaks hauled in
on Gretchen Northup's flat bed trucks years ago from the hill country
– on flowing waterfalls and fountains – colorful wildflowers,
audacious, albeit cute squirrels, green, well manicured lawns.

O.K. We did get carried away once with this beauty thing when someone
cracked up, and, in advance of a trustee meeting, spray painted the
grass green. Only one golf cart had to drive across the grass and then
the sidewalk for the truth to be known, thanks to the tell-tale green
tire treads. But trinity is beautiful. I love that.

Another thing I love and hope you love about this place, might benefit
from this confession: I am an intellectual snob – my friends are
bright, my colleagues are bright. I am bright. So when president
Calgaard and the trustees announced in the 1980s that this institution
would become selective in admissions and would devote significant
resources to attract intelligent, gifted, serious young adults and
intelligent, gifted, serious faculty worthy of teaching them, I was
ecstatic, even though there was a lot of negative reaction from some
faculty & many students.

Current students of the time feared that all the future students would be nerdy.

Some faculty of the time didn't want the challenge of teaching smart
students. What if some of them had a sense of self? Or, worse yet,
assertive skills? What if they thought they had rights? What if they
thought they should get their money's worth? It was a scary time.

In spite of all the anxiety, this institution seems to be thriving -
and, happily, not quite every student is a nerd. There may be a couple
– there may even be one or two undisciplined, disruptive, lazy little
weasels, but they seem to avoid me, and I, them, so I can honestly
say: I love the people of trinity, and I trust you do as well since
they are going to be your life long friends, even partners.

5. Finally of what I love about this place and hope you also value is
the effort we've made to help you appreciate the importance of taking
care of yourselves - your physical, psychological, and spiritual
health I love that we've tried to impress upon you the importance of
useful skills for this world: balanced perspective, perseverance,
integrity, and, maybe most important of all, an appreciation of the
absurd. (I know I've certainly done my part on that one.) Really
excellent institutions, founded on Judeo-Christian values, can do
this, and, I do believe, most of the time, this one does.

As we've all discovered, trinity is not perfect, but it's very good. I
sincerely hope your experiences here, like mine, have been far more
positive than negative.

I also dare hope that you will, as I try to do, always support this
place in thought, word, and deed throughout your life – and beyond. If
you don't understand that phrase, "and beyond," just contact someone
in the development office.

What toast dare I give members of the class of 2005 as you prepare to
leave this quite wonderful place? As many of you know, I'm quite the
nerdy little bookworm, so I happen to have applicable quotes for this
occasion:

There's Janis Joplin's "Don't compromise yourself. It's all you've got."

There's Albert Schweitzer's "Example is not the main thing in
influencing others, it is the only thing."

There's the artist, Tinka Tarver's "I am replacing the desire to be
good with the desire for authenticity. I am replacing the desire for
perfection with the desire for wholeness."

There's John Hoyt's "Figure out what you care about and live a life
that shows it."

But, wait, I think I've got it: there's the marvelous Kurt Vonnegut
with this: "Hello babies. Welcome to earth. It's hot in the summer and
cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside,
babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule
that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind."

So, there you have it, and here it comes. Ladies and gentlemen of the
Trinity University class of 2005, please raise your glass with its
teensy dollop of lukewarm, cheap champagne:

Here's to being authentic.

Here's to being an example.

Here's to living a life that shows what you care about.

Here's to being kind.

Here's to you."

And here's to the girls (Vicky, Jessica I., Joyce, Jessica T., Dipti, Robyn, Meghan, and Pam) that I've known and lived with and miss greatly!  We made it out alive, sane, if not more humorous and adventurous, ladies! 

Currently Playing Left of the Middle By Natalie Imbruglia Don't You Think see related

I feel like a groupie or some star-struck teenage girl in admitting this, but I watched the Brad Pitt interview with Diane Sawyer tonight.  Now I'm not a Brad Pitt fan nor do I think he's the best looking man on earth, but I must say that I am intrigued by his persona and the current controversy surrounding his personal life.  I watched the interview expecting to hear mostly questions asked about his personal life and the subsequent attempts on his part to avoid answering them.  What surprised me was the coverage of his work in trying to help third-world Africans.  It got me to thinking about the American perspective on the standard of life and the things taken for granted.

I watched the program hearing about how little it costs to educate kids and feed a family.  Some of these things cost as little as forgoing that morning cup of coffee at Starbucks or that $20 weekly pizza.  And I thought to myself, now if someone suggested to all Americans that they could change millions of lives by giving up some simple things, how many would actually do it?  How many would willingly give up that coffee or pizza to help others without the thought that in doing so, they're giving up a part of their entitled rights?  My impression is that most Americans would feel somewhat slighted and feel as if their standard of life was somehow violated.  Some would donate money, I am sure, but the mentality is that somehow they're giving up something that they deserve to help out another.  I wonder if Americans haven't become post-industrial "trust fund babies" in a sense because their lives are so plentiful and most have never truly suffered life adversities.

Let me clarify what I mean by the term "trust fund babies."  People from less affluent classes tend to view children provided with trust funds and money with a sense of contempt, stereotyping these individuals as lazy, lacking in ambition and motivation, and basically undeserving of their good fortune.  It is felt that these children have been given a life cushion that will forever shield them from the harsh financial realities of life and that they will never fully mature and understand the strife of the hoi-polloi.  They will never know what is to struggle, to have to support themselves, and will go through life with rose-colored glasses without knowing the satisfaction of accomplishing goals through hardship.  In a sense, Americans are socially the post-industrial trust fund babies of the world.  Most have never gone to bed hungry, most have never understood the fear of having to face a life without an education, and most will never experience a precarious existence where the next intestinal epidemic could end their lives. 

Americans live a life with basic necessities provided and often taken for granted.  Parents are held responsible for truant children.  It is taken for granted that kids will be enrolled in school at a certain age.  With such advantages given to people, it is hard for them to imagine a life living with less.  And with this feeling comes the mentality that the current standard of life is a must and nothing must ever infringe upon it.  I regret to say it, but I think the current American lifestyle and its standards are wasteful if not outright detrimental to our health and economy.  We consume too much of the bad things such as meat and fat.  And sometimes we take on portions that are too large, throwing away what we can't consume (really, it it necessary to take on that much when you can take a little at first and go back for seconds when you're done?).  We waste electricity everyday by leaving on electronics that are not necessary.  With every thing we waste, we squander money that could be used elsewhere.  Would it hurt so bad to not put so much food on our plates knowing that perhaps 1/3 of that will be left unconsumed?  Would it kill to turn off that light that is not used during the day?  And would it be such a detriment to our health to give up that morning latte filled with more fat than caffeine? 

All I've said I've spoken from a perspective of an immigrant who has experienced life on both sides of the have/have not line.  I grew up in an environment that had far less than what I have now.  My family had more than others did and we always had enough to eat, but our lives were far from luxurious.  I understand what it is like to live with less and to fear for your life with every illness you come down with.  As a kid, my mother taught me to be extremely clean to avoid easily preventable diseases like intestinal worms and other diseases that can be passed through sharing food and drink.  I was taught to be frugal and to be considerate of others by not taking more than what I needed whether it be food or anything else.  And if I experienced this need to conserve as much as possible, imagine what others with extremely less than my family had to go through.  Ever since I immigrated to the United States, I have noticed that I have slipped, becoming a little less frugal and more wasteful.  I try to curb these habits when I catch them, but I realize that these tendencies would not exist if my environment hadn't changed.  If I were faced with a life where I didn't have as many choices in food or clothes, I would be a lot more resourceful and economical.  But because I know there is a lot out there, my mind tends to take certain things for granted and falls into the mentality that it's ok to waste this time because someone else will grow more food to replace it.  And I think this is what happens with most Americans.  They feel that someone else will replace what they waste, not understanding that in some places no such thing occurs.  Once you waste, you lose forever.  You might throw out food one day and turn around starving or hungry another day, regretting yesterday's decision because everyone else is starving around you and no one will come to your aid.  And for these people, the day they starve could be the day they die.

I don't know how well my criticism will be taken.  I am only expressing these feelings because I feel that we take too much for granted and the time has come to reassess our actions and consider others outside of ourselves.  The experience of living in need and literal struggle survival is hard to understand unless you have traversed that path yourself, coming from a less plentiful background.  But you can try to understand and help.  Some of you might dismiss my perspective, thinking that we can't save everyone, so why should we give up a few of the luxuries we do have.  I'm not saying that we can save everyone.  I know that new challenges will arise everyday that will prevent us from reaching everyone.  But we can try to reach as many as possible by learning to be less wasteful so that there is more to go around.  Who knows, maybe you might save enough money by giving up that daily treat that you can donate to some poor kid some day.  And maybe that simple act will save a life that can in turn give to others and save more.  It's a chain effect that can spread.      

Currently Playing Los Lonely Boys By Los Lonely Boys Heaven see related

            I received my college diploma today along with a final transcript.  These two items reminded me again of the finality of college.  I cannot believe that I am now a college graduate with a bachelor of science.  I cannot believe that I graduated two weeks ago with honors.  And more unbelievable is the idea that part of my formal education has passed by so quickly.  But for now, I’d like to relive graduation day and the memories it stirred.

            The day started early with the bachelor of science graduated gathered in the Fiesta Room.  We were given amusing instructions by Dr. Pursell, one of the best chemistry professors I have heard lecture, on how the ceremony was going to unfold.  Then we marched to Laurie and took our seats.  The ceremony went by like a blur with the student and key note speakers giving their speeches followed by the conferring of degrees.  After all the names had been called out, the graduates marched from Laurie to Coates as part of the final march.  I hugged Dr. Mills as I passed by her and the moment was nostalgic because I realized it was the last time I was going to see her.  She has been a monumental figure in my college career, almost like my academic mother.  If it were not for her, I never would have done research and never would have tried as hard simply to live up to her expectations.  I owe a lot to her not only for her guidance, but also for the recommendation that (I believe) helped me to get into medical school.  For me, Dr. Mills is one of those individuals whom you meet in your lifetime that just makes you want to be better than you are through the example she sets.  When I was a freshman, I thought I wanted to be just like her once I “grew” up.  And I still think the same now.  I just hope that my life will be as fulfilling and that I will be surrounded by as many people who think well of me as I have seen in her life. 

            After the ceremony, the parents and graduated mingled with the professors on the Esplanade for one last time.  My family took pictures with Vicky’s family, Rusty’s family, Jessica, and Robyn.  I wish I had more time to take pictures with all my friends, but the families tended to clear out quickly to go do their “family” activities.

            Later that night, Jessica, Joyce, Vicky and I did our last “suite” activity together because it was the last night we spent in the dorms.  We sat down and wrote down traits, activities, items, and memories that either reminded us of each other or that we associated with a particular person.  The activity was nostalgic because we all brought up remote memories of each other that the other didn’t remember.  It was also reaffirming because the girls said good things about me that I didn’t realize I possessed. 

       I can honestly look back on my college experience with joy and happiness.  I am glad I chose Trinity because not only was the school student-friendly, but the student body itself exceeded my expectations.  I had expected rich bratty kids with a chip on their shoulder who looked down on those attended on scholarship and instead found friends who were kind, on scholarship themselves, and unassuming.  If I could redo life all over again, I wouldn't change the last four years.